Woman Challenges Fiancé About His Best Friend's Negative Influence, Putting Engagement on the Line

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jun 4, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

The cornerstone of a marriage is unity. Together with your partner, you can overcome any challenge that comes your way because you present a unified front. Having said that, how would you react if your partner continuously ranked someone else higher than you?

The story that follows is an account of a frustrated fiancé. For six years, the original poster was in a relationship with her now-fiancé. From the beginning of their relationship, OP sensed that her fiancée's best friend did not think highly of her. After several unsuccessful attempts to resolve the issue with the friend, she turned to her husband for support and guidance. But instead of receiving the backing she had been hoping for, OP faced resistance from her fiancé, who maintained that their turbulent relationship was entirely her fault. OP has made it clear that she would not be inviting her fiancé's best friend to the wedding now that they are getting married. OP's fiancé took offense at this and the two got into a heated dispute over loyalty and unity.

So, read the story below if you're interested in learning exactly what was said and whether or not OP complied with her fiancé's insistence on inviting his closest friend! When you're done, don't forget to read the story of the daughter who gives her parents the incorrect flight and hotel information so they won't try to ruin her summer vacation!

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  • 01
    I told him about it & how it made me feel & at first it went unaddressed 2-3 more times because he "needed proof" to make sure there was an issue. After said "proof" was present he spoke to her about it & she got a little better, but only around groups of people and like twice. She indicated she doesn't have a problem with me, so he felt I am the only one having an issue and I need to just approach her and talk it out. I told him I'm not doing that cause she isn't my friend and HE needs to do so
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for not allowing my fiancés BF come to our wedding?
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 03
    My Fiancé and I have been together just under 6 years (dated 3, engaged 2.5). Great relationship relatively, our friends & family all get along well with the other person, no issues at all... EXCEPT for one of my partners best friends. Said best friend has never liked me and seemingly had it out for me the entire time. She basically ignores my existence, refuses to speak or be cordial to me, but as soon as she sees my partner, she yelling and hugging him talking
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 04
    about "hey best friend" while ignoring me even though I'm right next to him. I told him about it & how it made me feel & at first it went unaddressed 2-3 more times because he "needed proof" to make sure there was an issue. After said "proof" was present he spoke to her about it & she got a little better, but only around groups of people and like twice. She indicated she doesn't have a problem with me, so he felt I am the only one having an issue and I
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 05
    need to just approach her and talk it out. I told him I'm not doing that cause she isn't my friend and HE needs to do so. A couple weeks ago we attended a mutual friends party. I attempted to make eye contact and say hello 2-3 times but she avoided me and refused to look at me the whole time. My fiancé noticed because it was so blatant. I don't want her respect, don't need her to like me, don't honestly want her around at all, I just want her to have basic human decency.
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 06
    This situation has caused me to rethink my relationship and ending it because I feel my fiancé is in the wrong for engaging with her after seeing how she completely disregards me. I think now but mostly after marriage we're supposed to be a unit and I wouldn't allow this behavior from a friend.
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 07
    Ive been feeling like an a e because we spent the better half of a nice dr en evening arguing about this, and I told him she can't come to our wedding, as I won't have someone who can't seem to stand me near me the. AITA for telling my fiancé she can't come to our wedding?
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 08
    Couette-Couette NTA but I am surprised that you decided to marry someone who allows such behaviour toward you.
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 09
    xxoraclexx33 OP I don't want to ruin what has otherwise been the healthiest and best relationship in my life but I've been thinking on it hard.. because where are the boundaries?
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 10
    Couette-Couette She is not distant with you, she pretends that you don't exist. A good partner wouldn't keep her as a friend. Moreover most people don't need to face such dilemma once they are done with high school. Why? Usually when someone doesn't like a friend's SO very much, she/he tries to befriend
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 11
    the SO anyway because she/he is afraid to lose her/his friend. If there is really no compatibility, she/he tends to avoid the SO but she/he doesn't become openly hostile to avoid losing her/his friend (except if she/he has a real reason to dislike the SO). Ask yourself 1) why does your SO accept the way his friend behaves toward you? 2) why does she
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 12
    think that she can increase the hostility she displays toward you overtime? I guess she assumes there will no be consequences and/or she thinks that she is his number one...
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 13
    xxoraclexx33 OP True. I think she thinks she is his number one and he'll choose her if it came to the wire. She acts very much like a high schooler and that's something I can't get jiggly with. I don't know why he's accepting of this behavior. It definitely make me suspicious at first because I was like "wth is wrong with you, why aren't you defending me" but tbh he is non confrontational, avoids any type of conflict and tends to make excuses for everyone
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 14
    ArsenalSeven NTA - but your fiancée is. Had he ever asked what her f g problem is? Take a hard stance on no invite.
    via u/ArsenalSeven
  • 15
    xxoraclexx33 OP That's how I feel too but... idk. He said he has and she said she had no issue with me.
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 16
    EJ_1004 And we both know that that's not true or there would have been a behavior change. The fact that he continues to allow her in his life without one is unacceptable.
    via u/EJ_1004
  • 17
    xxoraclexx33 OP It is a lie. I've tried saying that.. I'll bring it up again calmly
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 18
    Alternative-Gur-6208 Nta. She's in love with your man. Upset that he's with you and pretending like you don't exist makes her feel better. She won't say or do anything to make him upset. She's saying she has no problem with you is because the problem isn't with you technically it's with him. She was hoping for her romantic movie moment when the male bsf finally realizes and falls for his female bsf.
    via u/Alternative-Gur-6208
  • 19
    xxoraclexx33 OP Tbh this what my best friend and a select few ppl I told about this a while ago. There were times on social media where she indicated she was the ideal woman for him that he needs someone like her
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 20
    TechnicalStruggle395 NTA― she seems two faced & manipulative you're better off not having her have an opportunity to ruin your day
    via u/TechnicalStruggle395
  • 21
    xxoraclexx33 OP That's the energy I get too. Either she thinks she's better than everyone else. Apparently she's never liked any of his partners and I tell him that as he allows it, it'll keep happening.
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 22
    cassiiwiilson The fact that she's never liked any of his partners makes me think that she wants to be with him and either he rejected her at some point or she just never told him
    via u/cassiiwiilson
  • 23
    xxoraclexx33 OP This is something a friend mentioned to me. I don't think she's told him. But also her choice of men is trash a lot. One of her relationships turned out the man had a baby, bought a house with the baby moms and got her a new car. All the while breadcrumbing the best friend.
    via u/xxoraclexx33
  • 24
    My partner is genuinely a thoughtful, intelligent, well rounded, and ethical person. I can get why he is the standard / desired for his qualities
    via u/xxoraclexx33

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